A poem for Tiger

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Tuesday, 15-Dec-2009 22:11:41

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his blackberry.
He’d been cheating on poor little Elin,
And as each day went by another whore came out squealing.
He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, on Cori,
On Joselyn, and Kalika, TMZ had the story.
From the top of the world to above the fold,
Tiger’s ever more sordid tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
And when he wasn’t hosing them, he sent them hot texts.
He crashed his Caddy, but didn’t call OnStar,
Yet he played “spank me daddy” with a skanky old porn star.
He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn’t a chance,
Except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying and begging and pleading,
Tiger’s wife went right out, bought a new home in Sweden .
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,
If you’re going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.
Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s full of good cheer,
Because of her prenup ~ Christmas came early this year

Post 2 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Tuesday, 15-Dec-2009 22:54:52

This is hilarious! I really like it.

Post 3 by The Straight Edge Superstar (Please, allow me to once again explain why you are wrong.) on Tuesday, 15-Dec-2009 23:48:34

Very nice! hahaha

Post 4 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Wednesday, 16-Dec-2009 0:17:51

Well put.

Post 5 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 16-Dec-2009 7:10:31

omg!. hahaha funny!

Post 6 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Wednesday, 16-Dec-2009 10:30:31

LMAO! This is fabulous! LOL!

Post 7 by SunshineAndRain (I'm happily married, a mom of two and a fulltime college student.) on Thursday, 17-Dec-2009 4:47:23

Nice! Lol.

Post 8 by CrazedMidget (Sweet fantacy's really do come in small packages!) on Thursday, 17-Dec-2009 16:49:14

hahahahahaha i love it

Post 9 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 19-Dec-2009 15:01:29

Excellent, Scott. I was wondering if anyone on the zone was following the downfall of Tiger. I've never liked him, so the more mean jokes, the better. LOL

Post 10 by Heavy Metal Girl 85 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Saturday, 19-Dec-2009 19:30:13

wow, that was incredibley good!

Post 11 by forereel (Just posting.) on Saturday, 19-Dec-2009 20:19:58

I like the man, but well a joke is a joke, and a good joke is right up my alley. *smile.

Post 12 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Monday, 21-Dec-2009 9:09:21

My Grandma used to idolize Tiger until this came out. Now she's going on and on about how she hopes he loses all his endorsements. He may lose a few, but let's face it, unless he killed one of those bimbos he's probably not going to lose them all. And I know of very few celebrities in any circle who haven't done that at least once.